THE SCHOOL OF
AGREEMENTS & ETIQUETTE
Please read our collaborative learning & course container agreements thoroughly.
These agreements are designed to support a harmonious and inclusive learning community. The co-creation of our somatic community requires trust, participation, active-listening and compassionate support for each other, so take time to consider and reflect on each of the agreements.
Questions & requests are included which may illuminate your specific needs within the community while encouraging you to remember the ways that you can resource and support yourself over the duration of the training.
Somatic learning doesn’t happen alone as we are interconnected beings! As the trees and living creatures in a forest collaborate to create a thriving ecosystem, supporting others in your community also supports your own growth.
NOTICE, TRUST AND ALLOW...
This training is a sex-positive space. We ask that you agree to self-reflect and refrain from making assumptions about other people’s sexual orientation, how they define their gender, the type of relationship/s that they choose, or how they express their sexuality. These are agreements to support co-creating win-win harmony and relaxation for learning together.
This course explicitly welcomes diversity. We agree to co-create a radically inclusive sex-positive space. We agree to practice being accepting of individual differences in sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality and sexual expression. We agree to reflect on any judgments we may discover in ourselves as a result. We agree to be receptive if another member of the community communicates to us that they feel that we have not been inclusive of the expression of their identity, even if it was unintentional. We understand that these agreements are intended to create a space for dialogue and finding common ground and not intended to imply right / wrong positions.
We intend to love and support our peers and community. We intend to notice and allow and to create a space where all are welcome. We agree to notice any judgments or triggers that we have with others in the group. We understand that these may be reflections of parts of ourself. This practice may support kinder, self-accepting perspectives of others and facilitate newfound learning in and about ourselves. We understand that we won’t always “get it right,” and that if there is upset, we are open to finding a repair.
We agree to brave reaching out for support rather than getting lonely whilst honouring our needs for integration, self-regulation and private reflection.
Every student comes to us with an incredible range of backgrounds, capacity, and skills. We are really grateful to have all of your experiences here in this room! And we invite you to put aside what you are really good at, what you know well, in order to have a go at something new. If you constantly refer to what you already know, you won’t be able to learn what you don’t know.
We agree to give and receive timely and kind constructive feedback. We agree to use the feedback structure: “What went well for me” and “What I might do differently” as part of our reflective practice for ourselves and each other.
We agree to communicate any disability access needs to a team member and respect the access needs of others.
We understand that the Certificate in Sexological Bodywork is a professional training and educational course rather than a therapeutic process. This means that we will take the initiative to resource ourselves before each session, take responsibility for our own self-care and self-awareness during gatherings, and be particularly aware of any triggers or sensitive areas that may garner emotional reactions rather than informed responses. We will co-create and encourage group learning rather than expecting perfection from ourselves and others. We will be understanding and tender with others as they make mistakes, particularly if they involve subjects that are very important to us. We intend to “share and care” rather than “shame and cancel” if we have knowledge or strong view points on a particular subject.
working outside of attraction...
We agree to engage with students, volunteers, practice partners and clients outside of the realms of attraction, dis-attraction and repulsion. We intend to observe, accept, and then “park” any sensations of being attracted or repulsed by my peers and volunteers in the name of prioritising our own learning and professionalism. This means if we are attracted to or repulsed by someone, we will sit beside the feelings and not act on them. This practice of “”bracketing” (and then exploring in supervision) is a crucial skill with your future clients. Previous students’ experiences have shown that romantic / sexual partner engagement and other personal entanglements can very easily take students out of their learning zone and become a distraction. For this reason we agree not to engage in romantic-sexual relationships, unless pre-existing, within this professional training course, in the same way that we agree not to with clients.
During class time CSSE students and teacher team members may participate alongside CSB students. However, CSB students doing exchanges with CSSE students or teacher team members outside of class time is an area of potential role confusion so if you arrange any such sessions, the CSB student needs to have articulated a clear learning objective.
participation and certification ...
We agree to participate in all assignments and activities in ways that feel useful and relevant or to communicate directly with one of the teaching team if we have any questions or concerns and wish to modify any of the assignments.
We agree to attend each class or gathering on time or to inform a teacher team member in advance if we will be late or unable to attend. Webinars as a rule are recorded as we realise that not everyone will be able to make every webinar.
We agree to participate fully and resource ourselves to be present and engaged for the duration of the Certification training in Sexological Bodywork (CSB), Embodied Sex Coach (CESC), and Somatic Sex Education (CSSE). If unsure about doing so, we agree to reach out to and meet with one of the teacher team on the phone or in a one-one Zoom to discuss this and how it may affect certification.
We understand that some of the training sessions can be lengthy and intense and that sitting out and taking a breather sometimes can support your learning and your health. If you want to sit out, journal, take a nap, get some tea, or use the bathroom, you are free to do so at any time, we just ask that you let us know. We will also have scheduled breaks. However, as this is a certified training, we need to see enough of you in practice to be able to certify you. This may be difficult if you are not sufficiently present as a learning participant (e.g. have your camera off during group exercises or sharings). Hence, we ask you to resource yourself enough to show up in group activities and sharing. If you do not feel resourced, we ask you to say so to your peer support person or the assigned support coach so we can be aware of this & offer support if wanted.
sharing and self-caring ...
You are encouraged to change your mind during the training. If you have agreed to something – a practice, an exchange, a demonstration, a session – you can change your mind at any time.
If someone is in the process of sharing, please do not interrupt or ask questions. Many of us are practitioners of multiple modalities. In this context, your knowledge is welcome. However, we ask that you do not offer unsolicited advice. Offering advice is a form of taking action to shape or affect someone else’s feelings or experience. If the person has not consented to this intervention it can feel intrusive. We invite you to look at your motivations for offering advice if you feel tempted to; often it comes from a desire to make someone else feel better. This is understandable and well-meaning, but as somatic sex educators, we intend to accept and hold space for all feelings and sensations without seeking to change, explain, or “fix” them.
Breaks and respites during our training can be valuable times to rest and reflect. If you see that someone has an emotional experience in one of the sessions, we ask that you do not contact them about it during the breaks. Their experience is theirs and it’s up to them to discuss it or not. If they want to share or ask for anything, that is their choice.
We agree that, unless we have explicit verbal permission, we will not identify other students by name, nor repeat their words or experiences to others outside of the course. The teacher team are already public about their participation so you are free to name us as such.
As professionals in training however, sharing experiences with each other can be useful, as long as we have the consent of those concerned and/or omit recognisable aspects of their identity.
We agree not to use or share the course content without permission.
We agree not to take or publish any photos or video content or tag participants on social media without explicit permission. Kian & Katie give their permission for being tagged if you are sharing about the training.